How I Learned to Live in the Present
It was one of those day — boredom led me to mindlessly open Youtube. I clicked on random video popped up on my timeline. (I highly recommend you watch it too before you continue reading; trust me, it’ll set the tone. https://youtu.be/zIu7PtT79uA?si=PRZoWwSh4Y5riaLS )
As the video played, a realization hit me: the past year of my life had slipped away, consumed by endless scrolling, liking, and commenting on social media. I was lost in a void, live a life without motivation. I just pretend and force my self doing motions — work, college, daily routines— but i wasn’t really living. The thought haunted me was “How long can i keep going like this?”
Social media is sucking the life out of me. My attention span was shrinking, making me nervous for no reason, keeping me fear of missing out. I found myself trapped in the comparison — me on day one vs others on day 100 — and it left me feeling ungrateful. The worst things is i couldn’t even stop. I began questioning my abilities, my worth and my value.
So, i deactivated my twitter and uninstalled tiktok without a second thought. The few days were strange — i found myself always ended up checking my phone again and again. Deep down, i knew i had to force myself to face the discomfort of boredom, something i’d always despised. One minute…three minutes…seven minutes passed. I grabbed a book from the shelf — a book i hadn’t touched in months.
As i turned each page, i began to notice the small details: the texture of the paper against my fingers, the gentle breeze brushing my face, the way my mind absorbed each word, processing the sentences. I started to feel this is me, myself, right now, is reading a book.
It sounds cliché, but i feel more alive than i had in a long time…
That’s when it hit me: i want to live my life fully aware of my existence. I don’t want to waste my precious time mindlessly scrolling through social media, lost in a sea of meaningless content. Instead, i have started focusing on whats happening right now, on what i can do in this every moment, rather than getting lost in the endless “what ifs” of the future. My mind used to be filled with questions like “what if i don’t succeed?” “what if i fail again?” “what if i had studied more that night to become a straight-A-student?” “what if i had taken that chance?” “what if i don’t get perfect grades this semester?”. But now, i’ve stopped caring so much about those hypothetical scenarios.
I have realized that the present is all i truly own. Worrying about the future won’t fix anything. Instead, i’m focusing on solving the problems of “right now” rather than stressing over the problem of tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. After all, how can i hope to solve those future problems if i waste my present worrying about them?
